Things I Won't Miss about France

1. The Munchkin sized bathtub. Seriously, a mini-Munchkin would struggle with this bathtub. Furthermore, it's not so much a bath tub as a shower hose connected to the faucet that I sit and awkwardly spray myself with. I am generally cold and displeased after taking a shower. And also, I am paranoid about the electricity that my tiny water heater uses, so I want to use as little water as possible to get my body clean.

2. The Rain in Spain. Well, I am upset because I just bought an adorable green umbrella because I got tired of getting doused every time I came home. And NOOOOOOOOOOW it never rains when I come home. This sounds ridiculous, but walking in the rain under a green umbrella sounds completely amazing to me. No cigar.

3. Standing in the metro in heels. OUCH.

4. Weird people at the places I like to go. Who are always there. The creepy guy who works at Fanprix who will randomly start conversations with me and follow me around while I try to cheapskately purchase my food and other necessities. I am slightly afraid to go to the amazing kebab place again because I know 48-year-old Sebastian will hit on me again. My favorite crepe stand is manned by forward guys who like to strike up conversations and ask me all about the U.S.

5. The bathroom at Baker&Mckenzie. The bathroom lights at Baker&Mckenzie are motion sensitive. Now, the closest bathroom has 2 stalls, and they are their own hermetically sealed little rooms. The stall on the right always smells weird. The stall on the left smells fine, but the motion sensor light doesn't work properly, so in the middle of doing my business EVERY SINGLE TIME the light goes out. It is extremely vulnerable to be half-naked, sitting on a toilet, in a hermetically sealed bathroom stall IN THE DARK. I have discovered that banging on the wall will make the light come back on.

6. The third floor in my apartment building smells different than every other floor. My floor smells old and clean and nice. The third floor... smells they they are running a meth lab on it.

7. No washing machine. It's probably a good experience to go all pioneer in my clothing washing at least once in my life, but I will be fine to never do it again.

8. Websites that won't work outside of the U.S. What??? I can't catch up on my House, M.D. episodes on fox.com because WHAT??? It is not supported internationally? Copyright issues? WHAT???

9. Being asked if I have heard of "Tadsflkjewlkj Sljelfdslkjds," or seen "Rgfhjekjfg" or listened to "Naahgljerlkj" which are supposedly all American and yet I have NO idea what these French people with crazy accents are saying. Then people think I am stupid because I don't understand my own language.

10. Not being able to express the SIMPLEST of concepts or thoughts that I cannot because I don't know the word in French. Instead, I have to just say "oublie-le" (forget it), and go back to talking baby French (which isn't even an accurate statement because babies speak French much better than I do).

To balance this out, tomorrow I will write a list of 10 things I will miss about France.